#its like. wow. this has left me breathless and floaty and i dont know where to go from here
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#okay but like. am i bi or.....#because like. when im with a woman it feels like i cant get enough air into my lungs#it feels like im going mad#it feels like im going to lose my mind#it feels like my desire is just pouring out of me and i can barely grasp on to it long enough to follow#and its ALWAYS good#its like. wow. this has left me breathless and floaty and i dont know where to go from here#i get nervous with women. when im flirted with i get blushy and feel like im on the back foot. i feel lost and like shes the light#but with a man....#i dunno its like im checking off steps on a to do list#its like. we may as well be doing this#i dont feel like im losing myself in him. i feel like im there and hes losing himself in me#and its so nice to be wanted like that. its so nice to be craved and desired#but i think i desire the feeling of being wanted more than i actually desire him#its like. im there. but im present in a way im just not with a woman.#i feel like I could stop at any second and be fine#whereas with a woman i feel like i'll die if i stop. i feel like i cant get enough.#and like. with a man. its fine. like its just fine.#i can flirt and be flirted with and im never on the back foot. i feel like im in control the whole time and im calling the shots#i feel like hes the one thats being pulled under#and im just. there.#and its fine. like its not bad. but its just fine.#i dont want it to stop. but its just fine.#and like. maybe im not into him#but like. any random woman it feels transcendant#so am i bi because technically physiologically i can perform#but like. psychologically im just not there#i used to think romance novels were fake bc i thought it was too exaggerated. until i kissed a woman#and then i felt like there weren't words enough to describe how it even felt#but with this it feels like all those words are just... exaggerations. hyperbole. dishonest.
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